The Long Walk

Philip Berg, Narkis Street Congregation

February 19, 2005

Walking begins quite early. Sometime between the age of 9 and 14 months babies become toddlers. Parents anxiously await the day that their little one will take his/her first step. Then within a week these same parents are wondering if there is anyway they could go back to the pre-walking days. They are wondering how in the world can one little one get into so much trouble so quickly. I want to talk about walking this morning and the trouble that we get into so quickly. I want to talk about the journey we are on as Christians.

The word “walk” is mentioned hundreds of times in the Bible. There are at least five Greek words used in the NT which we translate walk. I won’t embarrass myself in front of the Greek experts in our midst and attempt to pronounce the words. There is of course the physical act of putting one foot in front of the other. Then there is another type of walk, something that you can do even if you become paralyzed and lay on your back the rest of your life. This is a spiritual walk.

Besides the examples of physical walking in the Bible, there are many references to at least three types of this spiritual walking. Many translations will use the word “live” instead of walk.

First, there is walking which is advancing in the Christian life through the use of Divine power. In Eph 4:1-2, the apostle Paul says,

As a prisoner for the Lord then, I urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; patient, bearing with one another in love.

Second, there is walking in evil where one is controlled by the sin nature. An example of this is found in I Cor 3:1-3.

And I brothers, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to babes in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not able to receive it. Indeed even now you are not able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly. And are you not walking as mere men?

In both cases, we are talking about a Christian. One is advancing and the other is retreating.

In the third example, we have the walk of the unbeliever described in Eph 2:1.

And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.

An interesting phenomenon that I have experienced most of my life is that the lives of many unbelievers put me, a believer, to shame. For many years I traveled the world as a backpacker. Many of the people that I met on the road were more thoughtful, more generous and much more kind than I would ever hope to be.

Twenty seven years ago, I was traveling around the world and one stop was here in Israel. I went to work on a Kibbutz in the Negev. I was a born again believer but definitely in retreat. Within a few months of my arrival I had moved in with one of the girls on the kibbutz. I can’t say that I was tormented, or having immense feelings of guilt, on the contrary, I was quite enjoying a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl. The irony of the situation was that at night lying in bed together, we would talk and she would ask me questions about myself. During these “sharing” times I would share the gospel with her. This is as clear a picture as you can get of a believer walking in darkness rather than light. If you are not advancing, you are retreating—it is that simple.

Bob Dylan describes it in a powerful way in his song entitled, “Its Alright Ma, I’m Only Bleeding.”

From the fool’s gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proves to warn that he not busy being born
Is busy dying.

By the way, there is more theological truth in this one song than you will find in a volume of systematic theology. What can I say—I am a hopeless Dylan fan.

There are clichés that tend to get burned into your mind early on and I remember being told over and over again that as a Christian I needed to walk the walk not just talk the talk. Despite this advice I learned over the years to be much more adept at talking the talk. The fact is I never quite understood what walking the walk meant in any concrete practical sense.

Several years ago, there was a campaign started in many churches to encourage believers to wear a bracelet with the letters “WWJD” engraved on it. The letters stand for “what would Jesus do?” It kind of reminds me of a Christian version of the tzitzit [tzitzit are the fringes worn at the corners of garments by Jews following the command of Numbers 15:37-41.]. WWJD is a Christian way of keeping on your body a physical reminder of who you are serving, a way of guiding your walk.

Then there are Paul’s words in Romans 7:18-19. He says,

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing.

The whole thing seems a bit like double talk at first, but then I say to myself “yeah, that describes me perfectly.”

I think that there is something inherent in the human psyche that enjoys reading about a person’s journey. In fact, every good story has always begun with the words “once upon a time a man set out on a journey.” One of the greatest of these stories is about a man named Abram setting out from Ur of the Chaldees. This particular journey has impacted every one of us in this room in a powerful way. These journey stories usually progress to a point where the man/woman meets a huge crisis, an impossible situation, some disaster, adversity of gigantic proportions, then the rest of the story goes on to relate how the man dealt with this crisis. Usually, we like the story to show how the person overcame the adversity. How he was victorious. We don’t like so much to read of how the man was crushed and defeated in the end.

I have read two such books recently. One is written by a Polish man who was force-marched by the Russian army in 1941, for 3,000 miles across Siberia, and then he escapes from a Soviet labor camp. He then walked from Siberia to India which is another 4,000 miles. He and his six companions walk across the Gobi desert and then up over the Himalayas. Four of his companions die along the way. It is an amazing story. The book is appropriately called The Long Walk. The blurbs on the back cover refer to the book as one of “epoch proportions”, “a triumph of the human spirit”. The author however makes no secret of the fact that what fuels his desire to keep walking mile after mile and to survive, is an intense hatred for his Russian captors who sent him on this journey. And survive he does, in order to spit in the eyes of his oppressors who tried to destroy him.

The other book is called The Heavenly Man. Written by a Chinese brother named Yun. It is also the story of a long walk involving unspeakable horror. The difference in this book is that the author is one who’s life is dedicated to bringing glory to God whatever the cost. Perhaps some of you met him while he was visiting Israel recently. I would highly recommend this book. It will bring a whole new perspective to your life and what you consider hard times. When we want to talk about hard times as Christians in this land we always bring up the Misrad haPanim, the Ministry of the Interior. This is our example of “really going through it”. This reminds me of a quote from Mark Twain. He says, “I’ve lived a long life and seen a lot of hard times, most of which never happened.”

These two books are the accounts of truly dramatic walks and the world can read the exciting stories. But there are other dramas that are going on unseen and unheard all over the world. We won’t know of these stories until we all get to heaven and we have a special video day. Then we can sit and watch some of the truly great heroes of the faith.
Like single moms who sacrificed everything day in and day out for years, in order to provide for their family. It certainly is one of the hardest jobs on planet earth. I take my hat off, kol hakavod [“all the honor”], to all the single parents who are involved in this particular struggle.

Adversity has a way of either strengthening ones spirit or else utterly crushing it. Part of my journey through this life was a stint with Uncle Sam in Vietnam. I remember coming back to the US after my tour there in Southeast Asia, and I would listen to my peers in the US complaining about the most trivial things. And I realized that I had absolutely nothing to complain about. I was just happy to be out of a war zone and still alive. Just the simplest everyday things made me happy. But as often happens in our lives, over time one forgets earlier lessons. And within a few years I found myself once again part of the complaining masses.

Another episode on my journey so far was a heart attack 10 years ago. Following my recovery I became 100% committed to a fat free diet. I was going to eradicate heart disease from my life by means of healthy eating. This went along fine for about a year and then I slowly slipped back into my earlier eating habits. I got a little mixed up with the fat free plan and became instead rather free with the fat. Chocolate and pastries became my two favorite food groups. Nowadays, I frequently have trouble breathing. It scares me—I am not sure if I am having heart problems or it is just a matter of my pants being too tight.

One might ask what this has to do with the Christian walk. I think that we tend to spiritualize the term a little too much. The term “Christian walk” starts to float up in the air, about ten feet off the ground. It is my desire to get the idea back on solid ground and talk about it in a very concrete way—things that are happening to me on a daily basis.

There are lessons that I learned in Sunday school many years ago. One of those lessons was that if we are looking at the big picture then “the war has been won.” Jesus hanging on the cross told me and the world that “It is finished.” Satan has been defeated. The serpent’s head of Genesis 3:15 has been crushed. I said that I “learned” this in Sunday School many years ago. I should have said that I “heard” this many years ago, and I am still trying to learn what it means in my life in a practical way.

We all are aware, I am sure that even though the war has been won there are plenty of battles to be fought. I remember many years ago a brother in the Lord would ask me almost on a daily basis “How is the battle going, Philip? I don’t think that I ever really digested the question.

I have Scandinavian roots, Minnesota born. Us Minnesotans don’t like to be overly dramatic. The modern day spokesman for us Minnesotans is a man by the name of Garrison Keillor. You know I was born in Minnesota, and it just happens that two of my favorite public figures are Garrison Keillor and Bob Dylan, both Minnesota born.

Garrison is the one who has created the mythical town of Lake Wobegan. Garrison is the master of understatement. Emotional outbursts are to be avoided at all costs and certainly one should tone down the drama. So to honor Garrison and my Minnesotan roots I do not want to be overly dramatic here. But the fact is, we are in a battle. And there are at least two fronts in this battle. One is the seen and the other is the unseen. One is seemingly, a slow, laborious, one step at a time, one day at a time battle. The other, the unseen, is an amazing battle of principalities and powers that would blow us away if our eyes could be truly opened for a few seconds.

The Christian walk according to the latest polls of evangelicals in America is unfortunately not so different than the walk of any other non-Christian. Ronald J. Sider has written a new book called “The Scandal of Evangelical Conscience—Why don’t Christians live what they preach?” The statistics are quite depressing to say the least. The percentage of Christians involved in extramarital affairs, divorce, premarital sex, internet porn, etc. is no different than the secular world. These surveys and polls have been conducted for the past several years and the percentages only get worse. We are not talking here about a population of nominal Christians. We are talking about Christians who identify themselves as evangelical, born again, church attending believers.

I am not here to give a “State of the Church Address”. I certainly am not qualified to do so. Rather, I am here to give a “State of Philip Berg’s Life Address”. I think that there is a natural tendency to distance ourselves from the ugliness going on inside by talking about the problems of the church out there somewhere. No, the worldwide church out there somewhere begins with me. I, Philip Berg am a member of the church, and I need to be honest with exactly where I am at, this morning.

Take the Pharisees for instance. Jesus had no argument whatsoever with what the Pharisees told people to do. In Matt 23 Jesus says “all that the Pharisees tell you, DO and OBSERVE.” Then comes the big word BUT—“But do not do according to their deeds for they say things and do not do them.”

In sermons from Christian pulpits down through the centuries Pharisees have always received a bad rap. We love to distance ourselves from their hypocrisy. The sad fact is that we in the church are very much like them. The purpose of reading about the seven warnings on the Pharisees in Matt 23 is not to be able to stand on higher ground and look down on them and say “boy, I am glad I am not like those losers.” Rather, I think that we should be looking in the mirror and saying—“Wow that is me–that is the tendency in my heart as well.”

Maybe it is more common for one to share the areas of ones weakness in a one-on-one setting with a close friend. But I think that it can be helpful to share very specific areas of struggle with the larger body. It could especially help those who do not have the outlet of a close friend and confidant. I have always said that my life is an open book. Whether anyone is interested in reading it is another matter. But I have no secrets. I am too old to be concerned with trying to portray the image of seeming to have it all together.

I think the reason that this is an important subject for me is that for most of my life I had a skewed image of who I really was. Most of my life the feedback that I got from people was that I was a really good person. I was described as quiet, controlled, kind and gentle, a servant in the body. If you hear these things often enough you begin to believe it. One thing that will get your life into a truer perspective real quick is to get married. Contrary to a popular quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln, I believe that it is possible to fool all the people all the time especially if you are a single person. I did a good job of it for many years. When you get married the game is over. If it is not the Holy Spirit keeping you honest with who you really are, then your spouse can help out a lot.

This is what the walk is all about. Life is not some mystical, spiritual, floating in the sky existence. It is about 2 feet firmly planted on the ground making choices for good or for evil. There is nothing mysterious about it.

Some struggles seem to plague us all our life. Others pass and are replaced with new struggles. I want to share some areas in my life that I have struggled with in the past and still struggle with.

An aside here. When telling people of areas of weakness in your life it is best to leave out the word “pride”. There are two reasons for this. First of all, it is too nebulous, you are not quite sure what is being talked about; PRIDE is at the root of everything. Second, you will have half the people in the congregation wondering in their minds what exactly you have to be proud about.

The first area I would like to talk about is a basic self identity struggle. Phil Billing talked about this last week in a powerful way.

In American society when you meet someone for the first time and basic introductions are finished, one of the very first questions is inevitably “What do you do?” Once we answer that question we have been suitably defined, pegged, pigeon-holed, categorized, tied up and put in a box. However, who I am, and what I do to put bread on the table and pay the rent are two different things.

(I realize that it is of necessity that we ask this innocuous question. “So tell me, what do you do? I mean if I am at a party and I meet some new guy, I am not going to say “So tell me Fred, what are the thoughts and intents of your heart this evening?”)

So who am I? I am Philip Berg, a husband and a father of four. My supreme purpose in life should be to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

What do I do? I help in some very small way to bring Palestinian and Iraqi babies to Israel to receive life saving heart surgery. But you know, what I do is not really the important thing. What is important is who I am in my heart of hearts. Anybody can do humanitarian work. Even one with a selfish, greedy, impatient and unloving heart. I said that what is important is what is really in my heart of hearts. Only God truly knows the answer to that question.

We recited some verses from Deut 6:5 this morning as a congregation. We do this every Shabbat.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

Like any words that are said day in and day out, there is a tendency for them to become a bit passé. But these words are so very important. These are words to take on as the very flesh on my bones. This is the guard against mediocrity. To love the Lord with all my heart is something that I have not been able to accomplish yet. I say with my lips that that is my desire, but my life shows that I don’t really mean it. But this is to be our walk, this defines our walk. Deut 6 says that we are to keep the goal of loving God with all our heart, soul and strength forever in front of our eyes. While I sit at home, while I walk along the road, when I lie down and when I get up, my first words should be “Lord, I want to love you with all my heart today.”

I have this committed feeling for about one hour each morning before the kids get up. I am feeling quite loving and full of God’s spirit. And this brings me to a second struggle that I am having right now in my life. About 6 AM the kids start wandering out of their room, sleepy eyed, they climb into my lap and want a hug. This is good stuff, this is family time. Within a half hour I find myself so exasperated by some antic by one, two or all three of the boys that I have shouted out some sort of dire threat of punishment. Really great parenting skill in action here. There is a lot of anger coming out of me, directed at the same children that I had such warm tender feelings for just a few short minutes ago.

Wanting to love the Lord with all my heart, soul and strength has suddenly lost top priority. Within 30 minutes my “Christian walk” is in retreat. You know there is a verse of scripture that says “Parents do not exasperate your children.” I am convinced that there is a textual problem with this verse. There seems to be some sort of inversion going on here. The original must have read, “Children do not exasperate your parents”.

So I am telling you this morning that this is an area of struggle for me right now. I do not want to react with anger to my kids which is followed by verbal abuse. Anger is a very real emotion and the scripture tells us that we will be angry, but do not sin. To fully explain this would be a whole other talk but certainly there is a way to be angry and there is a way not to be angry. I am telling you this, this morning because you are my family, you are my brothers and sisters. You are the ones that I am walking together with. If I can’t be upfront and honest with these kinds of things then I might as well forget the charade of calling myself a Christian and get my mediocre self out of here.

Another area of struggle that I shared the last time I was up here was arguments with my wife. I shared how it is that we can get up on a Saturday morning and be loving one another and feeling like one flesh and then somewhere between Prophets St and Narkis St. we are involved in,(to use a euphemism) some major difference of opinion. I am not sure what changed or who changed, but we are doing much better on this issue. I think that it is Martha who has made a concerted effort to diffuse the arguments before they get out of hand. See I like to see myself as the mellow one and Martha as the volatile one. In reality however this is not true.

My father is 84 years old and it was just last year that I learned from him, that he and my Mom made a covenant soon after they were married that they would never fight in front of their children. I was the fourth of six in our family and I can testify this morning that they kept that covenant. How they kept it I don’t know, but they did. This covenant provided for a very peaceful, quiet and secure home. I thank the Lord this morning that Martha and I are improving in this area.

Another area is a lack of control in eating. I mentioned this earlier. I used to weigh 160 pounds in early college years. I still see myself this way. The reason I can see myself this way is that we don’t have a full length mirror in our home. I checked my BMI recently (that stands for body/mass index) and I now qualify as obese. Of course on this scale Arnold Schwarzenegger also qualifies as obese. Some of you are wondering why are you talking about this—this has nothing to do with our spiritual walk. On the contrary, lack of control in any area of my life has very much to do with my spiritual walk. And another issue for me, in particular is my history of a heart attack.

I can’t afford to be walking around at 200 pounds for my heart’s sake. I want to be around for my wife and kids for as many years as possible. I make my feeble attempts to mend my eating habits but I continue to gain. I knew I was in trouble a few months ago when we walked by a store right around the corner from our house. It is a store that sells clothes for the particularly large man. On the window of the store is a picture of a particularly large man modeling particularly large clothes. Asher my six year-old son was walking with me and he stops and looks at the picture and says. “Daddy, that man looks just like you.”

I am joking about this to cover up a serious issue. I need to change my ways. You don’t need to pray for me on this. I figure that talking about it in this public way might shame me into making a change, nothing else has worked.

And now finally I would like to say a few words about pornography. Just the sound of the word makes people feel uncomfortable. Down through the generations there have always been words that are not considered polite to say in public. Just one generation ago to say the word “sex” from a pulpit would have been unthinkable. If we can’t talk about pornography from the pulpit then, excuse me, the church has lost all relevance. The tendency is to distance oneself from certain sins. Some sins are okay to talk about. Get up in front of the church and confess you have a problem with “pride”? That is perfectly okay, all the brothers and sisters will gather around you and pray for you. But pornography?, we want to keep our distance from that one.

I remember hearing someone talk about this subject and the closest he got to pornography is that he had a “3rd cousin once removed” who used to have a problem in this area “a long time ago”.

Gary got up in front of this congregation a while ago and confessed that he was struggling with pornography. That takes guts and I for one salute him for it. The fact is that every able bodied man on planet earth with testosterone flowing in his blood has a problem in this area. I have written out my own testimony about my struggle with pornography starting when I was a young kid living in Japan. I have it all in a word document which I am happy to share with anyone who might be brave enough to want to approach me and talk about the subject. I was fortunate, if one can use this word, to have struggled deeply in this area before the era of internet porn. For me, it was very difficult to get my hands on the stuff.

Today, it is a very scary, different story. Today, anyone at any time can go into their private chamber and watch porn to their heart’s content on their computer. This is not a problem exclusive to the non-Christian world. This is a problem that is rampant in the church. Pastors all across America are finding through personal counseling sessions that 70, 80, 90 percent of the men in their congregations are either watching on occasion or are addicted to porn. And often it is not just the men in the congregation, it is the pastor as well.

Maybe in this church this is not a problem. Maybe it is just two of us. Statistics would suggest otherwise. I am not at all suggesting that everyone with the problem should be getting up in front of the church and confessing. I bring it up today because it still seems like a taboo subject and I wanted to address it in some small way.

The first computer I owned was after I got married. I didn’t even know how to send an email message until someone showed me and the first email message I sent in my life was a proposal of marriage to Martha. Very romantic approach to be sure. A year and a half after we were married we got our first computer. By that time I had learned a few things. I learned that every site you visit, every picture that you view and even every key stroke you make on your keyboard is stored inside the computer forever. Knowing this was like having God looking over my shoulder. Also the very thought that some day some horrible picture would pop up on the screen while Martha was searching the internet made me stay away from visiting any pornographic sites. If I am honest I would have to say that if I thought that no one would ever have found out, I would have probably gone ahead. This is a pretty sad moral platform to be standing on. But it has kept me from the stuff.

For me I have found that the longer you don’t view this stuff the less the pull and desire you have to return to it. It has been about nine years now and it really is not one of my struggles at this time. Having said that I will also say “If you stand, take heed less you fall”. You can say that this is not a woman’s problem. But really it is. The man you are married to or the man you are going to marry can be addicted to this stuff and it destroys from the inside out. The future looks bleak on this. Very soon every 8 year old will have a cellphone that will be able to feed him pornography 24 hours a day in complete privacy. This is a scary, scary thought when one is raising 3 boys and maybe another on the way. If I would have had that kind of access, I shutter to think what road it would have taken me down. Just the fact that it was hard to come by for me living in Japan in the 50’s and 60’s kept me from being as addicted as I could have been. This is serious stuff.

We are trying to talk in beautiful lofty terms about revival and the fact might be that a huge proportion of the men who are supposed to be leaders are spending hours looking at naked women on the internet. Satan is having a field day on this one. It is a multi billion dollar industry that is growing every day.

We as parents need wisdom on this issue. We need to be praying for each other to know how to best teach our children the godly way to love, respect and honor women. I guess my final word on this issue this morning would be that if anyone is struggling in this area and you are truly wanting help then find a person that you can be accountable to. I am accountable to Martha and I talk about this with her on occasion. I want to offer myself as someone to approach if you want to talk about this. Write me an email at: bergs@shevet.org.

It has been my desire to share my heart with you this morning. Some of you I know well and our kids will be growing up together. Some of you are simply passing acquaintances and others of you are guests this morning and we will never see one another again, this side of heaven. I trust that I have allowed you to take a bit of my heart with you as you leave.

The Scripture tells us that there is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. We do not need to add to Satan’s still small voice of condemnation that we are just not cutting it as Christians. But I think that in my life the bigger problem is not having the right appreciation of the Holiness of God. I have been a living example of one who has sinned that grace may abound. Paul says that God forbid that this type of mentality should rule our life.

You know we live in an era of political correctness at all costs. By all means, do not offend anybody. The Gospel is the most beautiful message this world has or ever will receive. But the Gospel is also a huge offense to many, many people.

The Christian life should be the ultimate radical lifestyle—on the cutting edge.
As one who made a commitment to the Lord in the 60’s I was especially drawn by this call to a radical Christian lifestyle and then I lost it somewhere along the way. Instead of sharing the gospel on the road, I ended up sharing the gospel in bed with a lover.

Two weeks ago, Gary Alley gave us a very challenging talk about mediocrity. Earlier I mentioned a Chinese brother named Yun. You can say a lot about the life of brother Yun, but mediocrity is not one of them

He shares in his book that during one of his several imprisonments God called him to go on a hunger strike. He didn’t eat or drink for 74 days. Now this is impossible according to medical science. My natural tendency is to think that this really did not happen. But there are witnesses that can testify to the fact that it did in fact happen. While Brother Yun was on this hunger strike he was being tortured in prison with needles being put under his fingernails and being severely beaten. They tortured him in order to try and get him to reveal the names of the leaders of the underground church in China. In the dozens of imprisonments and beatings mentioned in the book he never revealed this information.

Now, there is a movement of Chinese believers who are preparing another “Long Walk”. They feel called to walk from China to Jerusalem. Their mission is to share the gospel with Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists along the way. They know very well that a good number of them will never make it. Many of them will be killed. They have no problem with that. Many will be imprisoned and they have no problem with that. It will be another opportunity to share the gospel with fellow prisoners. But they are training to be able to escape from prisons if that is what God tells them to do. Thousands of Chinese are in training camps right now learning Arabic and other languages. They train for prison escape by jumping out of second floor windows with hands handcuffed behind their backs. There is no mediocrity here.

Standing in front of you this morning I can not say that I am not in this league, however something deep down inside longs for this type of commitment. Gary’s talk on mediocrity a few weeks ago really got me thinking. The Lord’s words to the church at Laodicea are “I would rather that you were hot or cold.

HOT—Okay- Be an “on fire” Christian, meet together in order to encourage one another to keep in the battle. COLD—Okay- Bring the cold ones in to be warmed by the fire of wholly committed Christians. But LUKEWARM—What is that about!!

The whole tenet of Scripture teaches that you are either for me or against me. You are either in the battle or you are not. You do not have the option to sit on the sidelines with a little banner waving, that says “Go-ooo Jesus! Rah—Rah—Rah.”
If I was God I would want to say “Look, get involved in the battle or else get lost. Don’t come in here and warm your sorry lukewarm hands by the fire.”

It would appear that the Lord is quite clear about this in speaking to the church at Laodicea—“I will spew you out of my mouth.” Pretty strong words.

There is a line written in the sand. “Choose you this day who you are going to serve. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord but you got to serve somebody.”

I mentioned once before that sermons have a way of being forgettable. Have you experienced this phenomenon? You listen to a good talk and then you go out for some lunch with a group of friends. Someone joins you who was not a church that day. They ask you- “So how was the sermon?” You say “It was very good.” He says “What was it about?” You say “Um, I, Uh boy I can’t remember exactly, something about walking forwards and backwards.”

That description will suffice for today. I have been sharing how I have am having problems taking one step forward and then two steps back.

I do want to confess before all of you and the Lord that I want to change and I want to love Him with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength. I do long to leave a legacy of commitment that my children, my wife and my God will be proud of.

Thank you.

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